Dating a guy with 2 kids
But with the bad comes the good, and my past exes did teach me a few things about what I do want in a relationship: a partner with a sense of humor, and someone who's more than willing to eat cold pizza and marathon watch/geek out over Twin Peaks with me (trust me, not many folks are willing to put up with this). He was funny, had a grown-up 9-5 job (I immediately made note of his Netflix-marathoning potential), and had ridiculous comic book tattoos.
I was all over it, but there was one thing I wasn't sure about: he had two kids.
I'd never dated anyone with kids before — what was I supposed to do?
Be their friend, tuck them in, tell them to shut up and eat their vegetables?
One of the things that works best about my unique place in the family is that I'm not another adult voice telling the kids what to do, and I'm okay with that.
I already have to yell at my dog when she barks at the mailman (and the neighbors, and innocent pedestrians) — and that's enough.
As it turns out, there are actually a lot of perks to dating someone with kids. (Besides the kids themselves, obviously.)This one is a little selfish on my part: I can't eat candy anymore (I had weight loss surgery nearly eight years ago and sugar is definitely not my friend), but every now and then, I just really want to buy a bag of Skittles.Women are certainly guilty of putting their kids ahead of their partner — maybe even more so than men, especially since they are nearly always the primary care giver in the event of divorce.But in this moment when men are struggling to claim their place as equal parents while society expects divorced dads to be the lackadaisical weekend father, I get why you are compelled to go overboard with your expressed devotion. If you are indeed ready for a real love, create a space for her.The most interesting thing about the essay was the resulting shitstorm of controversy which landed Waldman on a much-viewed Oprah episode during which a hostile audience nearly attacked her. Cliche as it may sound: You gotta put yourself first. You must make it a top priority to hang out with other adults — girlfriends, dates, relatives and friends. Yes, that essay is a decade old, but it warrants a revisit because parents — mothers most especially — are still expected to make our children the center of our worlds, and I do love [my daughter]. It is not normal to spend all your time with children, nor make your offspring your primary emotional support.